Find Out Who Does/Doesn't Like You

Each of the 16 personality types has a different set of basic operating values (BOV). Based on their BOV, MBTI Types get along with each other or not. If my personality type has a basic set of values and you want me to violate my basic operating values, you’ll find I won’t give in.  If I want you to violate your basic operating values, you’ve not likely to do that.

Compare the BOV of your personality type to people of other types you know, and see why and how you clash or are drawn together as allies.

When working with other types, you must align your strategy in such a way that you don’t sacrifice each other’s values.

ISTJ

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ISTJ Basic Operating values ISTJ Clashes/Agrees
ISTJs begin making sense of any situation by gathering and interpreting data. They are the “gate keepers” of organizations. They want data to justify decisions. Past Performance indicates future success. Traditions are to be respected and rules are to be kept. ISTJs tend to clash with iNtuitives, who are future oriented and often unimpressed with past data. These include INFJ, INTJ, INFP, INTP, ENFJ, ENTP, ENFJ, ENTJ. Intuitives may see the ISTJ as obstructionist to progress.

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With types that see the future as more important than the past, which may include these personality types may see what has happened in the past to be totally irrelevant to the present or future. They may see the ISTJ as obstructionist in his or her use of past data. Because rules to the ISTJ may be more important to than individual needs, the ISTJ may clash with Felling types such as the ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP, ISFJ, ESFJ, ESFP, and ISFP. However, ISTJs often get along well with Feeling Types because of their strong sense of upholding traditional values. ISTJs will often clash with those who want to bend or break the rules, often even for what everyone considers to be a good outcome. “The rules are the rules.”

ISFJ

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ISFJ Basic Operating Values ISFJ Clashes/Agrees
ISFJs are intensely committed to individuals and small groups with whom they have formed relationships. They are nurturing in their approach and work steadily to fulfill their needs. The ISFJ may clash with types that put organizational progress above people. The ISFJ may be firm allies with Feeling types and others who believe that rules should take people and situations into account. They may clash with the ENTJ, ESTJ, and ENTP who are more likely to put the organization above the individual because they believe it protects the greater good of people, even if it hurts a few people.

INFJ

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INFJ Basic Operating Values INFJ Clashes/Agrees
INFJs are visionary – perhaps the most visionary of types. They seek meaning in human relationships. INFJs do not often find themselves in conflict with other types, avoiding interactive teams. They are often physicians, clergy, or professors and are able to act independently. Conflict may center around causes rather than committees, which the INFJ will seek to avoid.

INTJ

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INTJ Basic Operating Values INTJ Clashes/Agrees
One of the brainiest of types, INTJs find and use abstract models to explain physical reality. They do not so much create concepts, but apply them. They look for simple and elegant models and then apply them. INTJs gather great backing in an organization because of their intellectual ability to grasp complicated issues and to suggest elegant solutions. They tend to be the “ivory tower type.” They may come into conflict with action types such as the ESTJ, ESTP, ESFJs, and ESFPs who value action over intellect. INTJs interest is infinite, but not their attention span, and they may become suddenly disinterested in a project or initiative.

ISTP

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ISTP Basic Operating Values ISTP Clashes/Agrees
ISTPs are natural observers. When they see a problem in their general surroundings, they have already been observing it and step forward to solve it. ISTPs have few natural enemies among other personality types in organizations. They are normally conflict averse, socially skilled, and have an easy wit. Since their work style is reactive in the best sense of the word, they are natural troubleshooters and problem solvers. They run into problems with Judging types who require advanced planning. They do not do well in strategy meetings or long term planning roles, and may become withdrawn in most types of long range planning meetings. They do not react well to hierarchies or chains of command.

ISFP

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ISFP Basic Operating Values ISFP Clashes/Agrees
ISFPs are guided by an internal set of principles and values that are more important to them than the external day-to-day world. ISFPs tend to be individual contributors and rarely have organizational conflict. They are generally well-liked and have a defined role that they accomplish well.

INFP

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INFP Basic Operating Values INFP Clashes/Agrees
INFPs are extremely insightful about people, and share their insights with only the people they trust. INFPs are generally very talented people in organizations and can excel in technology, design, and project management. They have outstanding technical and interpersonal skills. Because they generally have strong boundaries and personal definitions that they don’t articulate to others, they often confuse Judging types who do not understand how they want to be engaged. Since they have strong inner expectations, they can be desperately unhappy or offended and no one knows why. Once they disconnect from people and situations, they are difficult to reconnect with. There is no more insightful and able person if an INFP is engaged in what they are doing.

INTP

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INTP Basic Operating Values INTP Clashes/Agrees
INTPs are intellectually oriented people and like to “get to the bottom” of things. Their mental tendency is to go to the heart of things to examine underlying detail. The INTP is able to drill down into projects, issues, and situations to find those elements that don’t line up with the overall plan. They can be excellent educators and writers. INTPs can run afoul with outcome oriented types such as the ESTJ, the ENTJ and other types that conflict with the INTP when they feel that he wants to call back the train after it has left the station. INTPs never feel it’s too late to have that post-mortem meeting, or to begin at ground zero again.

ESTP

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ESTP Basic Operating Values ESTP Clashes/Agrees
To use military phrasing, ESTPs have a natural ability to act according to the situation on the ground— they move effectively and decisively in the moment. ESTPs have few natural enemies in organization. ESTPs are winsome and have the ability to gauge the crowd. They are excellent communicators, and often find themselves in the role of a spokesperson. ESTPs look for the shortest line between two points and dislike complicating anything that could be easy. They conflict with types more attracted to complexity such as the INTJ, INTP, ENTJ, and ENFJ. They grow impatient with long-term strategy or complex position papers.

ESFP

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ESFP Basic Operating Values ESFP Clashes/Agrees
ESFPs focus on getting things done through teams. They are generally “can do” and upbeat, and contribute positive energy to a team. ESFPs are often individual contributors and rarely have conflict with others. They are diplomatic, fun-loving, and supportive of people in their organizations.

ENFP

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ENFP Basic Operating Values ENFP Clashes/Agrees
ENFPs lead organizations through cycles of change by engaging the people around them by their own personal charm, helping organizations to embrace the new ways of accomplishing objectives. ENFPs find themselves at the heart of most organizations. They are often in human relations departments and have the ear of senior executive teams. They can be seen leading the latest organizational initiative. They have an affinity with their own ideas and will defend the ideas that they have generated. ENFPs often have difficulty staying engaged in projects through completion, often changing initiatives or jobs. ENFPs are most successful at getting organizations to see a vision and to engage in change management during the early stages.

ENTP

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ENTP Basic Operating Values ENTP Clashes/Agrees
ENTPs use their extroverted iNtuition to size up situations and are usually confident of their course of action. They are technically oriented and verbally skilled. They are one of the least conflict averse types. ENTPs excel in organizations and as entrepreneurs. They are all about skills, expertise, and they have a very advanced ability to communicate. They lead with extroverted iNtuition, moving in what seems to be several different directions at the same time. They dazzle many while at the same time confuse many others who get mental whiplash watching the ENTP’s rapid changes in direction.
The ENTPs ability to communicate and solve issues is impressive. They can and do clash with most types who want to follow a steady course, as opposed to in-the-moment decisions and direction changes. Their confidence is admired and often justified, yet they clash when they come over as arrogant and all-knowing.

ESTJ

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ESTJ Basic Operating Values ESTJ Clashes/Agrees
ESTJs are perhaps the most outcome-driven of all types. They want to understand the objective, what their resources are that they can draw on, and who they will work with to achieve the objective. ESTJs can rise to high positions in organizations because of their ability to achieve outcomes within the framework of organizational constraints — they deliver ahead of time and under budget. They can clash with Feeling types because they tend to believe that outcomes are more important than individuals. They may have difficulty finding innovative solutions that an ENTJ or ENTP might find, or implementing them, preferring time test ways of doing things. ESTJs may frustrate forward facing types like the ENFJ or ENFP because the big picture or overall view is often not important to them.

ESFJ

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ESFJ Basic Operating Values ESFJ Clashes/Agrees
ESFJs have the remarkable ability to manage and guide teams. They are highly organized and see disorganization as a personal failure, although they are often patient and are skilled at picking up the pieces for things that didn’t get done. ESFJs have some of the best interpersonal skills of all personality types, are conflict averse, and most always find themselves skillfully and diplomatically managing the needs of groups. Their abilities can become their disabilities in that they may place a critical problem on hold because they do not feel they have the authority to find unauthorized solutions. They often feel that their role is to work within a defined framework with an assigned set of duties, and may not feel that understanding how the larger organization works is important.

ENFJ

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ENFJ Basic Operating Values ENFJ Clashes/Agrees
The ENFJ is one of the types most attuned to people and groups. As moderators, facilitators, and trainers, the ENFJ has a finely tuned ‘sixth sense’ of the motivations and concerns of a group. ENFJs are the best skills to interrelate both to individuals and groups. People most often feel that the ENFJ understands them at a deep level, and it is often true that the ENFJ has an amazing ability to understand others. ENFJs can be frustrating to NTs and SJs in situations of conflict because not only is the ENFJ conflict averse, they often believe that conflict in and of itself is inappropriate and ineffective. When in charge, they can have a great sense of the appropriateness of their role and status, and may find it difficult to share the limelight and decision making with others. If everyone likes them, they must be right.

ENTJ

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ENTJ Basic Operating Values ENTJ Clashes/Agrees
ENTJs are the type that always leads, but are rarely leaders in the sense of popular political leaders, loved by the masses. They have a natural ability at strategy. ENTJs always attempt to lead groups through formal or informal authority. They see the end objective as more important than anything else, and frequently clash with almost everyone in the organization. Often chosen when outcomes are critical, people who want outcomes ally with them.
  • vtaylor94903

    Typo in the “INTP Clashes/Agrees” section, references wrong type in the first sentence.
    You’re welcome! V Taylor, INTJ

  • Fiya Nawaz Khan

    I’ve known that I’m INTP for a while now. Occasionally questioned or doubted myself and kept my window open to see whether I was ENTP for a while, but I wasn’t.

    Anyways, as an INTP, I absolutely love ExTJs and usually am attracted to them, Have a lot of respect for Te doms really, even when I’m lacking Te.
    I personally think only immature INTPs can act the way this data is describing the INTP’s Clashes.

    • Q-Of-Seas

      That’s strange, you don’t really sound like one.

      ESTJ folks can be skilled duck suckers. Why? Because these guys are usually lacking of an open mind. They do usually choose to force their own beliefs on other people. Even ENTJ’s can’t stand ESTJ’s for the same given reason. It has nothing to do with maturity. Some INTP’s apparently happen to have more self respect than you, perhaps.

      I would rather spend time with an ISTJ (conservative kind as well) than with a forceful closed minded bossy being (ESTJ).

      • Fiya Nawaz Khan

        “Don’t be so childish to assume the same type has to like all/hate all, otherwise be immature. We’re people, not 4 letters. By saying what you did, I highly doubt you even contain the basis of the INTP mindset. Humorously, it sounds more like you have xSTJ tendencies than anything”

        Ah, I can already tell you’re not too familiar or well-educated about the cognitive functions.
        Never had I assumed such a thing that you accused me of, but go ahead and quote me and tell me what made you think I did.

        You on the other hand did go with the assumption that just because I’m expressing my opinion or talking about my experience, it means I’m trying to establish my personal experience as a fact. And that is childish and obtuse of you, especially with how you just contradicted yourself by passing some stereotypical answer with the whole, “Humorously, it sounds more like you have xSTJ tendencies than anything” comment and then following it up with the “But I’ll refrain from being hypocritical in my observation of your personality”.

        Good job there with, but no, you’re still being a hypocrite. Saying you won’t be didn’t nullify anything.
        Honestly, it sounds more like you’re the one here who has a bit of a bias here? Hopefully you don’t work with that and let it cloud your thinking the next time you want to disagree with a person.

        Anyways, unhealthy ExTJs are obviously obnoxious? So are any types? The whole thing you mentioned with the “You need to do this with your life” and “That’s not what your family would want you to do” are usually signs of underdeveloped Fi from what I’ve seen. People with underdeveloped functions are indeed obnoxious, just like how INTPs with underdeveloped Fe are.

        And might as well say this clearly in-case you assume something that’s applicable to me once again. Yes, I indeed have seen unhealthy ExTJs and have terrible experience with them too. When I’m saying something positive about ExTJs, I certainly don’t mean unhealthy ones. There’s a huge difference between a healthy personality and its unhealthy version. Look up the functions if you want to comment about the types furthermore, it’ll be worthwhile for you and the person who you’re engaging in a discourse with as well.

    • MeMyselfAndI

      As an INTP 4w3 I dislike greatly ESTJ’s ( I’m talking about all the ESTJ’s I meet from teachers to students) so much that I want to punch them in the face, they are close minded jerks who think they are always right, and they are also always trying to change my mindset.
      My closest friend is an ENTJ and we are usually on the same page if not we talk about the problems and then we are on the same page again.
      I’m not immature if you do think so because I clash with the ESTJ’s. Unlike you I’m attracted to the INTJ/INFJ personality I have always been attracted to them and as a child I used to admire them.

      • Fiya Nawaz Khan

        I’m INTP 5w6. I have healthy Ti/Fe, and can work just fine with ESTJs as long as they’re healthy. If they’re unhealthy, I can still stand my ground but I prefer to exit the scene quicker after giving them obvious facts when I need to.

        ExTJs with healthy Ti/Fe are caring, and try to value everyone’s needs. They can determine what people really need though an objective lens rather than assuming or using gut feelings. This allows them to truly help people become better versions of themselves. They’re more objective and when I’m talking about getting along with ESTJs, this is the sort I get along with.

        When I said I thought immature INTPs are more likely to act that way, I meant INTPs with underdeveloped Fe. As INTPs, most of us just naturally have poor Fe, cause it’s our inferior function after all. As we go through life, we work on our Fe and develop it. Having Fe that you need to work on more doesn’t make you an immature person in general, just means you need more effort in that corner so you can interact and understand people better (you understand your own needs better too). So no, I don’t think you are an immature person based off of how you explained things. I am blessed with an INTJ best friend, so I definitely know the appeal you’re talking about their. Can’t relate to your experience with INFJs however, had an INFJ ex who I’m now friends with, but it’s nothing special and most INFJs don’t wow me as much as xxTJs (people with dominant Te or auxiliary Te).

    • Misty Lunsford

      Don’t be so childish to assume the same type has to like all/hate all, otherwise be immature. We’re people, not 4 letters. By saying what you did, I highly doubt you even contain the basis of the INTP mindset. Humorously, it sounds more like you have xSTJ tendencies than anything.

      But I’ll refrain from being hypocritical in my observation of your personality, and say that while you shouldn’t daftly project your preference as an expectation of the surrounding people, it is merely your preference– no more, no less.

      I personally can’t stand most ESTJs I encounter. MOST. That doesn’t mean they all wear the same stain in my eyes. About the worst of them was my step mother, who fit uncomfortably well in the generalized unhealthy ESTJ stereotype.

      “You need to do this with your life” and “That’s not what your family would want you to do” are two of the single most common phrases out of her mouth. I’m elated at the fact I no longer live with her. Wouldn’t go back if it were the last place to go back to.

      • Fiya Nawaz Khan

        “Don’t be so childish to assume the same type has to like all/hate all, otherwise be immature. We’re people, not 4 letters. By saying what you did, I highly doubt you even contain the basis of the INTP mindset. Humorously, it sounds more like you have xSTJ tendencies than anything”

        I can already tell you’re not too familiar or well-educated about the cognitive functions. Never had I assumed such a thing that you accused me of, but go ahead and quote me and tell me what made you think I did.

        You on the other hand did go with the assumption that just because I’m expressing my opinion or talking about my experience, it means I’m trying to establish my personal experience as a fact. And that is childish and obtuse of you, especially with how you just contradicted yourself by passing some stereotypical answer with the whole, “Humorously, it sounds more like you have xSTJ tendencies than anything” comment and then following it up with the “But I’ll refrain from being hypocritical in my observation of your personality”.

        Good job there with — you’re still being a hypocrite. Saying you won’t be didn’t nullify anything. Honestly, it sounds more like you’re the one here who has a bit of a bias. Hopefully you don’t work with that and let it cloud your thinking the next time you want to disagree with a person.

        Anyways, unhealthy ExTJs are obviously obnoxious? Yep, so are any types. The whole thing you mentioned with the “You need to do this with your life” and “That’s not what your family would want you to do” are usually signs of underdeveloped Fi from what I’ve seen. People with underdeveloped functions are indeed obnoxious, just like how INTPs with underdeveloped Fe are.

        And might as well say this clearly in-case you assume something that’s applicable to me once again. Yes, I indeed have seen unhealthy ExTJs and have terrible experience with them too. When I’m saying something positive about ExTJs, I certainly don’t mean unhealthy ones. There’s a huge difference between a healthy personality and its unhealthy version. Look up the functions if you want to comment about the types furthermore, it’ll be worthwhile for you and the person who you’re engaging in a discourse with as well.

        • Misty Lunsford

          Well, aside from how defensive you got, I’m inclined to apologize. My comment was not meant as a reply to you, but rather Q of Seas (as noted by the fact my comment appeared under theirs), and upon returning, it seems I probably clumsily misclicked the wrong reply button on my obsolete smartphone and replied to you instead.

  • Lisa

    I am trying to figure out which type my department head is (I’m probably Se or Si dom.) Anyway, I like her a lot — she’s highly educated, is great with people, and has that ability to make you feel that your individual contribution is valued — but without the usual throwing-everyone-else-under-the-bus in the process of building rapport, like more emotionally manipulative types. She “checks in” with you sometimes to make sure you’re feeling good about your role, etc., which is nice. But what drives me crazy about her is that she’ll come at me with this urgent stream of consciousness over a simple request. More specifically, she’ll rush into my office as this blur of bewildering busyness, disorganized, thinking out loud, etc., and after listening to her unofficially explain why she’s there, I realized she spent 5 minutes asking me to do something that should have taken 30-60 seconds. No clue why.
    Any serious guesses you guys want to offer (on what type she is) are appreciated.